Today, my heart is heavy. Today is the anniversary of my father's passing. It's been 7 years, but like clockwork, everything in my being recognizes what day it is. Twice a year I start gradually feeling it the week before, whether I realize the date or not. His Birthday and his passing. A birth and rebirth.
I have gotten signs from him in the past. I know he is in Heaven watching over us and socializing, making more friends daily, learning what he needs to learn. Does that make the pain of losing him any less? A little. But, I think we can't help but be selfish and want our loved ones to remain here with us, healthy and pain free.
He passed suddenly that morning while we all slept. My step mother realized something was wrong and took action. He had a heart attack. We all thought he was a relatively healthy 54 year old. Turned out he had a genetic problem with his heart that no one knew about. He went to bed that night thinking he was just having some shoulder pain and an upset stomach and never woke up.
We all have our stories of pain and loss. We all have our anniversaries that we both celebrate and mourn. We all have those wishes...if I could just have one more day with him, one more hour...if I could just say this to her...if I could just hug him one more time....if she could just be here to watch our children accomplish this....if he could just give me some advice.
We can only take comfort in knowing that they have not truly left us. They do see us everyday, they do see our children, they do help look out for us, they do hear us...and they do give us hugs and advice and signs. We just have to be patient, open and don't have set expectations. They may come as we fall asleep, while we sleep in our dreams or while we are wide awake. But they will come. A scent, an inner voice, a feeling, a vision, finding an object that has meaning, a song on the radio, a word that keeps popping up everywhere. So many possible signs. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to speak out loud to them, they are listening. Ask for a sign, send them your love.
So, to everyone out there dealing with their own loss, I am here and I understand. Our experiences may not be exactly the same, but our pain is just as real. Virtual hugs and love to you all.
Feel free to share your stories with me. I will read each and every one and send healing thoughts to you all.
In Love and Light,
Lisa Marie
Ps. I love you and miss you Dad! Everyday.
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